Jan
4
Half a Victory!
January 4, 2008 |
Nan’s boys, Heart and Heurn have been quite a worry for me. How would they take to mom having a new man in her life? Well so far things are going pretty good. Mainly because I leave most of the parenting to her, and backing her up every inch of the way. And well, they are both good kids most of the time, with the odd slip-up but thats just to be expected. They are boys!
And we have sort of eased this new situation into their lives. Mainly me being in it, and us moving to the other side of the village. The main thing was where would they sleep? But we decided not to push the issue. And simply let them sleep in grandmas house where they have lived all their lives whenever they wanted to.
But we have some rules. They have to eat supper with us at 6pm every day. And they have to come over here and eat breakfast before going to school.
So far they seem to have adapted well to that. They simply sleep wherever they are come sundown and they have to be home. But lately Heart, the youngest at seven, have been spending the nights more and more over here. And right now Nan is over at grannies house to pick up Heart, who was crying his eyes out because he wants to sleep here!
His toys are also appearing more and more around the house on a permanent basis. While Heurn is a bit more reserved, and preferred the comforts of grannies house. I don’t blame him. All his cool stuff is over there, and most of his friends are in that street. And he has created quite a little nest for himself in the attic, with an old TV to play his video games on, and a hammock to do it from.
But the best part…when they want to ask me about something, they have totally stopped referring to me as “the farang”, when Nan translates, and when talking about me to others. They call me by name now. And that without me or Nan stressing the matter.
So slowly I at least imagine that they are accepting the situation. So we’ll simply continue doing what we are doing. taking it nice and slow and let them decide for themselves what it’s going to be.
That’s it!
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Comments
6 Comments so far
It seems that you and Nan knows what you are doing with the boys. Feelings take time and a bit of pations. (im not sure that my english is right but i hope you understand)
I.m proud of you both and the work you to seems to do. Lot of hugs from me and dad.
Hey Rune very smart and I think you are handling it perfectly.
I was the same with Noots younger sister Benjawan. She was only thirteen when Noot and I started dating and after her dad died we had to tread very carefully around her as she had lost he father and a farang was dating her older sister.
When Noot moved into the city with me Ben had lost her dad and her father all of a sudden. She would come on the weekends and stay a few nights and then it started to be through the week as well.
Now she lives with us fulltime and goes to a new school and is studying harder and hopefully better grades (they couldn’t worse)
I treat her like a daughter and is she steps out of line now I let her know very quickly but back at the start she could have done anything and I wouldn’t have said a thing.
I remember all the villagers used to say “farang” anytime we went out into the village but now 3 years down the track I don’t hear it unless there is a strange Farang in the village.
Sounds like you will be part of the furniture
very soon.
Brunty
It sounds like your going about things in the best way possible. The kids will adapt to the change in their circumstances at their own pace and it sounds like they are already getting there
I don’t think it’s easy to take someone’s kids on board so…..hat’s off to you!!
C x
Thanks folks. Specially you Mom. I am a bit preoccupied these days, so sorry for not answering comments (or posting something new).
Too much fun with the model airplanes and Nan’s boys, I bet !!!
Keep it up, you’ve got a great relationship.
Why leave anything to chance? I found this great site on hypnotizing children that is sure to improve your chances of a positive outcome. I have even used some of the methods on Amy (with mixed results).
http://www.infinityinst.com/articles/most_novel_safe.html