Aug
30
Speedy Trees
August 30, 2007 |
We had spent the morning driving around and also bought the Honda Click, and returned home with the car load of fertilizer for the rice paddies. Me and Nan’s uncle offloaded the truck, and I went to park it.
So I backed up into a driveway to get the bloody thing turned around and there was this distinct “crunch” sound. Accompanied with a very sudden stop. Now a “crunch”sound accompanied by sudden stops are never a good thing when backing up your car into somebodies driveway.
So I checked my rear and there was a fairly solid coconut tree attached to the rear of the vehicle. I was fairly…no I was dead certain that there was no coconut trees attached to the vehicle when I started it. So where had it come from?
Biut to make certain that the coconut tree was not in fact attached to the vehicle, that would be somewhat too strange, even for me, I put the gearshift thingy to “D” again, and thus made the car roll forward. The tree did not follow. Hence it was proven. The coconut tree had deliberately placed itself in the path of my backward motion. I can swear on my grandmas knitting pins that it had not been there 2 seconds prior. The coconut trees in Thailand are a menace to traffic safety and should be banned. They are far to speedy for me.
I stopped the engine and now ventured outside to investigate. I could already hear Nan doing her inquisitive: “Teeeeeeraaaak?”, from down the street, and knew I was in trouble.
So I carefully moved my person to the rear end of the car, and sighed with relief. There was no visible damage done. So I turned around to face Nan, accompanied with large parts of her extended family, the neighbours, eight or was it tend kids and a couple dogs and chickens and assured the assembled masses that both me and the car was OK.
Nan however was not convinced, and sneaked around the other side of the car. Then planted her fists on her hips, glaring at me and I knew I was in trouble.
I shuffled back to the rear of the vehicle and immediately spotted something that had not been there 3 seconds ago. A fair sized bump in the rear bumper. Now that is actually just what rear bumpers are for, is it not? But then I also saw that it was sort of slumped in a downwards position on the left side.
Nan’s uncle was now investigating the well being of the coconut tree, and came back with the two bolts and nuts that normally would secure the rear bumper to the vehicle. The where clipped right off. So not only had the coconut tree deliberately run into my vehicle, it had also sheared off the bolts holding my rear bumper in place. Sabotage if you ask me.
Nan was now finished glaring. And demanded an explanation as to why the above mentioned proceedings had taken place. I was at a loss for words, and all I could mutter was a “Mai bpen rai”.
That is when I learned that “mai bpen rai”, does not apply to stupid acts committed by farangs, even when all and sundry could see that the coconut tree had deliberately blocked my passage.
I know came to my senses and wanted to call the rental company and inform them about the crazy coconut trees up here in Isaan, but Nan felt that this was unnecessary. And in my now brainless mode (I had been duly informed of this by my little teerak), I accepted this as a perfectly good way of proceeding.
I did however take one more look at the damage, and Nan’s uncle meant that it would cost at least 10K baht to have it fixed. But it turned out that when I told the the car rental dude at the airport 3 days later what had happened, he laughed so hard it only cost us 2000 baht….
Well, well, that’s it!
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Comments
4 Comments so far
AH Mr Rune. Thiose moving trees in Isaan villagers. You weren’t drinking the lethal “Lao Kow” now?? That could make anyone think trees and anything else was moving about.
Good post mate.
I had a problem with moving curbs last time I was in Isaan. That only cost me 300 Baht for a new hubcap and nothing said to the rental company.
Maybe it was one of those Ghost Trees?
Jason,
While I certainly keep a stock of Lao Kao around the house to bribe people to do some work for us, I don’t normally indulge myself with it. Only the finest of Sang Som ever pass my lips.
But this time I was indeed sober!
Those trees are lighning fast I can tell you!
You should have tried “mai mee bpan-haa” instead… Gets you out of trouble in no time, or…