Mar
28
Up To You
March 28, 2007 |
Nan can be painfully shy when it comes to expressing what she wants to do. I have tried every trick in the book to convince her that I will actually be extremely happy if she have any ideas for our next weeks together in April. Her universal answer is “up to you”.
I hate that response. With Nan i have simply bombarded her with different ideas for our 4-5 day long road trip. So with her on the phone, armed with a diverse number of travel websites in front of me on the computer, I set to work. With every place I mentioned, her response was of course, as predicted…up to you.
So we had a long chat about me deciding everything. Including relaying to her that I would never ever be “angry”, if she ask me to take her somewhere she likes to go, or by any other question or request she may have. It must have worked, becouse when I made my “good morning, how are you” call today she double surprised me.
“I have question for you, but don’t know if can ask?”
“Of course you can, please ask me”
“I can?
“Yes, can, 100%”
“OK, you say we go my home number 10 (April 10), and go number 13 to Pattaya for songhkran? (April 13).”
“Yes”
“Today I talk seeter me. She come home songhkran from Bangkok, I not see for long time. And she want see you too”
“Ok, no problem. We can stay in Pattaya a few days more, then go number 13 to your home, stay in your village for Songhkran, and then go back to Pattaya for fun there. Pattaya have Songkhran until number 19, so no problem. Good idea or not?”
“Yes, good idea teerak (super happy voice), but songkhran from number 13 to number 15. I think go number 13 not so good. Road have to much car. Have many people go Isaan. Better if go number 11, or number 12. We can stay until number 14 then go. Not so much traffic.”
I was naturally happy with that. She is smart this lady of mine. So I promptly agreed, and Nan was very much pleased. And having confirmed that her farang speak truth, when he say that he wont sulk like a 3 year old if she have her own ideas about things, she pressed her luck further.
“I have more thing I want to ask”
“OK, no problem”
“You say have time for stop and look when go, no need go fast?”
“Yes, true”
“I want go look look Phi Mai”
Phi Mai is an old Khmer temple built in the Angkor Wat era. So no problem (hey I am actually getting a bit of culture on this trip). So I agreed, and and Nan sounded like she did not know what foot to stand on, and also fired off some Cambodian to her mother who excitedly gobbed off something back for Nan to relay to me. Apparently I was now elevated to Good Heart of the year in her book.
So the era of “up to you” seem to finally have ended. I wonder when she will build up the confidence to transform into “she-who-must-be-obeyed?” Have I created a monster here. Is this the point of no return?
We will see. 
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Comments
3 Comments so far
Of course, Nan is a female. With superior rights to at a whim, change her mind. So we are back to the original plan.
But okay, she seem to start to catch on that I like her having her own ideas.
Also, just an update. She is “make suplise” for me. She says it will take her a week to finish, and no matter how much I prod, she refuse to say what it his. I just hope she is not knitting a sweater or something
Well, whatever it may be, I am sure I will love it…
The “up to you” era will never end, my wife and I have been together for 6 years now and I still hear it. I do the same as you with my wife Ae, try to get her to tell me what she would like to do. Over time you will learn exactly what she likes to do and you will then be able to make it “her” idea.
There also has been a difference over time, even though early on in our relationship she would say “up to you”, she actually enjoyed doing what I wanted to do even though it may not have been what she chose. Now, when she says it, you can tell when it really is something that she does not want to do or maybe there is something that she may prefer to do better. You will learn when to make it her idea.
Yeah, I guess their whole way of dealing with us is part of the reasons
we love them “to mut”.
Well, its now 9 days until I am there again. Just have to keep my sanity until then.